digress & obsess [v2]

It’s been some time since I last updated;

and subsequent to reading my latest post, I vaguely remember how compelled I was by my perturbed, hedonistic drama queen alter ego to write that post.

Im better now. no, really. 

My betterment has been accredited to the conclusion of my horrid semester and its replacement;

the fucking awesome summer holidays.

Though, I have to admit, 1.5 months is peanuts as compared to the 3 months of vegetation I was previously bestowed with in the

UK

. Fuck that.

Ok, moving on.

As of late ive been in quite a jubilant mood – for numerous reasons:

– For one, the smelly recently got me a spanking new nokia 6300 to replace my piece of shit coloured junk that ive been calling a phone for awhile now.

– The idea of not having to drag my aching hung-over 70 year old body out of bed at six am, for the next 1.5 months, sounds pretty fucking splendid to me.

– I’ve been spending lots of time and lots of money shopping for new-fangled, skanky summer holiday outfits.

– The break is allowing me ample time to catch up and work on my pathetically lagging-behind art work

– Summer break means that my old loves are finally transporting themselves back from far away

UK

to KL to party with me and reignite old jokes, laughter, memories.

– (newly bald) Yawwy has been back for over a week now and spending time w him has been awesome. i cant wait for his hair to grow back the rest to come home.

– Speaking of which, summer holiday plans are just weeks away –

im looking forward to beach holiday ’07 in phuket (despite the participant ratio leaning towards a SAUSAGE FEST),

as well as sunbathing in the buff @ pankor laut resort w the smelly.

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Irony has overtaken me by a mile.  Since my holidays started I haven’t been out drinking or partying at the resident heritage row. 

Perhaps, partying excessively at the same venues have finally taken its toll on me – listening to the same recycled music, engaging in pretentious recycled conversations, and bouncing along w familiar recycled crowds.

I wonder if I am, in fact, ready to retire.

Then again, maybe not. 

Wot I am craving is a change of scenery.

i often ruminate on simultaneity: an inescapable theme, given the elevated perspective of an introspection-ist.

As I’ve else when written, my sense of perspective is totally ingrown;

the intellectual legacy of a childhood that fatefully involved a model globe, and therefore, an inculcated and wholly irredeemable sense of scale.

every now and then I am rather bowled over by the incredible density of lives on this planet:

how in any one day — say today, walking down heritage row, for instance — I trail the skein of my life behind me and snag hundreds of others;

I brush almost imperceptibly against a panoply of other lives;

I am a background figure in countless snap happy photograph attempts in which these fleeting, ephemeral moments of intersection are, ironically, frozen solid.

A few nights back, whilst scanning through some digital photographs, the same thing happened to me. 

And in a desperate attempt to secure my existence, I pompously commanded that the smelly painstakingly Photoshop background figures right out of the picture. 

Which he did, and even then, I felt small, (and not so pompous).

When I think of how very large-scale and real my own life and my problems seems to me; with every second played up close in interminable detail in front of my eyes,

My imagination collapses when I attempt to multiply this experience tenfold, let alone six-billion-fold.

______________________________________________________________

I realize that arithmetically aggregating my own reality will not give me the sum total of humanity’s experience.

______________________________________________________________

At any rate, that is why things like this blow my mind and I think I just lost about 30 interminable minutes of my own particular reality scrutinizing this unfathomable plenitude of other lives.

How particularly futile.

But anyway, I am entitled to this privilege, seeing forth that I am officially on holiday.

This entry was posted on Monday, June 18th, 2007 at 10:26 pm and is filed under musings etc. & shit. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.