The great [s]expectations
its february already. how time flies.
it is also nearing valentines.
oh man. O_o
Anyway. Since ive been thrown into some vigorous debate about men, women, relationships and wot not as of late, I shall attempt to make some sense in my writing by pondering upon one of my favourite topics:
Sex.
many of you, may have read this entry already, on my now defunct blog (psst..kvnnn) some time back.
but wot the heck. im bringing sex(y) back!
Sex is good. Sex is said to heal the body, mind and soul. Sex, is sometimes a workout. Sex could be an outlet to vent your problems. Sex improves your mood. Sex boosts your confidence, and maybe. just maybe brings you closer to the person you are doing the dirty with.
—> Liquid silk’s (r) main tagline included: ‘ superior lubrication guaranteed to smoothen out any tension in relationships ‘.
—-> Zsa zsa gabor once infamously quoted:
‘ to get over a man, you have to get under another one ‘.
Go figure. i thoroughly agree.
Thing is, for most women of today, sexual affiliations brings about a whole new genre of expectations in a relationship. (assuming they are in one).
To them, sex is not just sex.
Sex is never
just sex.
Men generally, being the audio-visual creatures they are can switch on and off just like that.
i.e they fuck and move on.
Why is it then, that we become so emotionally attached to our mates, even though we claim that we are satisfying only our carnal appetites?
Sex can sometimes be a rather sticky situation.
(im not meaning in the literal sense)
As we become intimate w our men, (or women)
Expectations for a more fulfilling relationship finally come into full play.
– We want to feel like it wasnt ‘ just a fuck ‘.
– We want to be able to ‘ connect ‘ w our partner not just physically, but emotionally, and mentally.
– We want to lie in bed w the guy for hours, and talk, cuddle, and just exist in their affinity, presuming round 2 doesnt roll around the minute he pulls out.
– We want them to make us feel as if we are respected and loved. And not just because our p***ies give them great pleasure.
– We want fancy dinners, we want them shopping sprees, we want romantic text messages and often miss long intimate phone conversations….we want time time time, dedication, dedication, dedication, yadda yadda………..etc…etc….
The list goes on.
When is it ever enough?
The answer is never.
People should tell it as it is.
First time sex, tricky,
“>
The morning after, trickier,
The rest and all that is to come;
is likened to being in a combustible coal mine. A little bit of friction, and well you and everything w you is history.<span style=”FONT-SIZE: 130%; FONT-FAMILY: arial
Expectations in the bed room, the relationship and just about anywhere else shouldnt be,
Just because,
You could risk an aftermath of bad moods, uncalled for distance, disappointment, and lord forbid,
A bruised ego.
We are aware as intelligent single women that perfection isnt always attainable.
But life still has its uncannily sneaky way of throwing us curveballs.
Maybe when you are sleeping w someone shouldnt necessarily be called dating.
It should be called
waiting for the other shoe to drop ‘.
‘
Waiting for the miracle that is:
‘ great guy, great sex, great body, great relationship ‘, to appear as we plough through our everyday feeling mediocre.
If it isnt the sex between me and you,
then someone has to have a shitload of baggage enough to last a lifetime,
or maybe he’s married.
he’s had a kid or two,
he’s gay and doesnt know it yet.
but why is it always something?
Nitpicking has been a trait women have had since primal times,
and well that cannot be explained any better than
why men think w their penises and not their head. (head, as in brain).
Which brings me to the "anticlimax" of my whole entry:
**written quite awhile back:
*****************************************
Something absurd occurred this evening, as I was having a usual round of bedroom activity w the boyfriend who happens to pride himself on the fact he can make me orgasm again and again.
(dont ask, no comment, and not up for discussion)
So there I was trying to get off on our get-it-on, when he suddenly looked at me, with a disconcerting frown and said,
" did you turn off the water heater?"
" yea, why? " I answered rocking back and forth.
" errr, cos I wanted to take a shower?"
" oh, but I just did, and the water was hot." I stopped moving.
" yea, well now youve used ALL the hot water."
i looked at him a blinked. twice. he was suddenly reduced to a 9 year old school boy with a "you-broke-one-of-my-toy-cars" frown on his face.
There wasnt any *grrrrr*.
or any *rwooowrrr*.
or any ‘ throwdown ‘ ,
it was actually,
More of a slowdown.
Somehow, my desire to bang his brains out dissolved into thin air,
as i got off (NOT that way),
walked over to the heater switch and all of the wot-was-left of the chemistry and lust debauched w the sound of the prompt ‘ CLICK’.
The only thing that was turned on that evening was the light on the heater.
And the only thing that was hot in the room was the water.
*******************************************
Needless to say, after that incident, I immediately got dressed, got into my car and sped off as quickly as I could as far away as I could get from the house.
As all you ladies are spectating in awe I have only one thing left to say, the greatest sexpectations, is in fact, NONE.
i took a long hot shower and tried to forget the whole thing ever happened.
Ive come to realize over a hot water heater that I cannot expect anything only because he has already in a way surpassed most of my expectations.
Ive come to realize that when you love someone, nothing else matters,
sex isnt ‘ just the sex ‘.
the sex is in fact ‘ great sex ‘.
When you love someone, you look past their supposed ‘ flaws ‘, and applaud the person as they are, and celebrate wot you already have.
And despite all the hoo-haa arguments, push pull and supposed ‘ mixed messages ‘ one thing remains, in that i am head over heels
and he makes me happy w who I am, fat arse and all.
So,
Im not ‘ waiting for the other shoe to drop ‘.
Cos it fell;
long, before i decided to acknowledge it.
And now I am,
Ive come to comprehend,
sex, no sex, or halfway there sex,
it is still kind of HOT.
**************************
Of course as with everything in life, there are two sides to the coin.
relationships can turn ugly. I’ve had my fair share of those.
id like to liken relationships to investments - both shortterm and longterm, depending on wot you want.
As with all investments, we all expect to get something in return.
as time goes by though, no matter how much funds you can chuck into this good-for-nothing investment,
the return is still ZILCH.
my advice is to just move on,
conserve your funds
and chuck-em elsewhere, just to see if the R.O.I (return on investment) is better.
you have nothing to lose,
UNLESS, of course,
you are going out with HIM
happy valentines and CnY y’all.
hope you’ll all have a good one.
and to sakai kvn….im still up and running still blogging, but on this one instead.
– Enjoy!
