digress & obsess [v2]

im getting a tad bit concerned.

never have i suffered an artist’s block for so long a time period.

im getting downright scared.

the last good drawing i churned out was last january. 

and it hasnt moved an inch from my desk ever since.

i had ambitious plans for this drawing, but…

alas,

im lacking one brilliant photoshop david artist to finish up where i left off.

damn it.   

im staring at it right now, so tempted to pick my piece of charcoal and chalk to fill in the blanks

but i fear my lazy, unseasoned hand might mar the immaculate strokes of my mini masterpiece.

the soft lead is already fading, and rubbing off onto the once white paper, staining the once detailed design of my delicate angel’s wing a foreign grey.

my hands are failing me once more.

"fuck! my portfolio is still at sam’s place".

shit, havent spoken to that dude in ages.  and his cool hippy parents. 

wonder if my painting of the violin quartet is still sitting pretty in his dining room.

im looking through a few pieces of wot is left of my portfolio, and i cant help but feel both pride and dismay.

i stare at them, trying to remember how it looked like before they became magnificent colours and strokes, both painstakingly fashioned by my own hands, and photoshopped by david.

i wonder how my hands managed to work magic like that.

i cant even imagine how much work went into those, how much imagination and passion.

all, up in smoke now.

its all gone now.

im left with a blurred memory, faded imagination, fickle motivation and lazy right hand, more interested in holding onto a cigarette rather than a piece of charcoal or a paintbrush.

damn you, cheri.

damn you.

this is all i have left now.

This entry was posted on Monday, January 29th, 2007 at 2:36 am and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.