MAJORITY of men are good for dessert. and that only.
Introspection is a powerful thing. Dui. Even fat joe munching on a burger can tell you that.
Its whether of not you then choose to do something about it is wot creates the results in your life.
And well im one of those people, smarter than some, dumber than many. And ive been giving myself the easy priveledge of subsisting at this mediocre level.
But im not going to any more.
That said, people the net over have been ranting about the sexually explicit content and sardonical humor of my blog.
Hence as a tribute to those people, I shall, in this entry not swear. One single time. And that my friends is a challenge.
Ive been having anxiety and panic attacks of the siao ting tong kind. And yea, that means pretty bad alright. And to keep my marbles from bouncing off the walls I drove straight over to sher’s for Korean din din and one too many shots of traditional wine. In my defence, it was “tradition”. and that korean dude that offered me it, looked well hot. could any girl really decline?
As you all should have known already, ive been having trouble getting over my ex boyfriends. TILL OF LATE. AND IM SO RELIEVED. (I would have started on a hurling of profanities spree. But I wont. Not because I want to but, because ive kept my word a select few).
I don’t know anymore.
All these relationships and their discontents.
For me studying, understanding and coming up w solutions for globalization, disparities in the worlds wealth distribution, and looking at the marshall-lerner curve like some designer dress all comes second nature.
I don’t know anymore.
COS, when it comes to finding and solving glitches in my own relationships w men and my parents alike. Im worst than a dyslexic trying to fit into her 3rd grade class.
I kid you not.
Or maybe I really am of that sort. You know, i fall into the "autism" category.
and by definition, it is a condition where one has qualities so specialized in a certain field. And only that field. Their brain has an affliction in such a way that enables them to multi-task. Or even differentiate between right and wrong. Hence nothing else around them matters. Only that quality. Hence many grow up to be prodigies in math, science, art, academia, some, and so one. Many have memory bank abilities to store and pull out just like that digits, dates, names.
But as w everything in life, gifts come w prices. Whether or not you are prepared to pay. Being autistic is no easy task. For them, their greatest ability also signifies their greatest downfall. To subsist in societies’ page as a normal human being. Social conditioning ever since religions first of coming, has survived the ages w one term in its goodbooks.
“majority”.
I hate that word.
And we all know why.
+ No one was great subsisting in the majority. In fact, the majority should be replaced w the word subsistence.
+ Majority is often abused wrongly and equated to power. Who? Look at the Nazis. And todays American political controversies. George bush is on his way down. He is in fact a lucky and wealthy minority, along w his G7 buddies. They sit happy and smile even sweeter for the camera. While the rest of the disenfranchised majority of the world have to combat poverty. Now wot does he do? He hoards the wealth all to his country and trade partners, and when the IMF/WTO/WB come up w gung ho proposals on trade liberalizations and combating world poverty and Oh yea Economic development, (but lets not start there, cos I don’t want to bounce off the walls again) they tear down protectionism like some curtain drape on the developing world and yea. You guess it keep their own. So, yea. Abuse of power? Minority hoarding the majority of wealth?
If you cant see it.
You are either stupid.
Retarded, blind or deaf.
Or you watch too much “the simple life”. Im telling you, those girls need grammar lessons let alone style.
+ Ah. Majority. We are a whole load of sheep here. And I have an experiment to prove that we are in fact dumber than lab rats. But I wont. Yet.
Majority sees thinness as equated to beauty. Come one people, who hasn’t heard or witnessed that before. U could mention that to a growing foetus in a womans stomach and it’d nod. I myself have fallen prey many times to the media. And yea, you guess it. im seeing a psychiatrist for that.
Those are a few of the many reasons I hate the word “majority”.
Individualism is wot spurs your purpose. Your identity. But I wont go on. Cos I wont stop.
Ok. I digress.
Wot I am trying to say is that an individual. In all senses.
And when it comes to relationships, I am that very individual who will refuse to go by the books.
And I will break every single rule on “men are from mars, women are from venus”.
I just am that way.
hence i fail and i fail and i havent stopped failing till now.
why? only cos im single.
And the fact that I swear more times in a day than m.Jackson has ever had to deny his plastic surgery stints, doesn’t help me one bit.
I hang w guys more than girls.
and my most dreaded trait. Im not thin. I cant deny it no more. I just AM NOT THIN. I was born w no hourglass waist, chubby cheeks, boobs that don’t allow me to wear a push up bra, and an arse I want to donate to callista flockhart. I hate that.
When im in love (or believe I am) every single rule goes out the window.
I abuse my sexuality. I exploit my sexuality. Pre marital sex taboos for me is like a giving me a green light. I rave and rave and put my heart on a silver platter by the first date. And I can only fall deeper and deeper in love. i love and love and love. (but i get doubly hurt). u get the picture.
And that is why I scare more men away than I keep.
And maybe I use my brain for all the wrong reasons. Look, I study more than I ever did at
warwick for a whole year.
And maybe men cant accept the fact i regard my brain and instincts as my most illustrious and liberal asset.
I am in no way immaculate. And I am not trying to wage a one woman war on societies ideal. Or to justify my eccentricities like I do w consumer ir/rationality.
I am merely being aware of who I have grown to be and to eventually accepting myself for that.
But for now, and I say this w as much gumption and fervour as I can muster:
"men are for the sole purpose that is ‘dessert’. never the main course. cos most of the time youl end up serious ‘heartburn’” . burp.
They just are.
Yes I am a cynic. And maybe its cos im not well. But im pretty convinced at the moment I have yet to meet a guy that can challenge me both intellectually, emotionally and intimately.
+ Because so far, all of them people have been morons. Some cant spell. Some cant do simple math. Some don’t even know wot a haiku is. They run and hide the moment I say switch on the BBC. And theyd rather watch porn all day than to discuss economics, and current affairs over lunch. Yea, and the moment I even remotely hint to share wot are our career aspirations, principles, or other life goals……….they wont call back. Ever.
+ The boys ive been w. metaphorically, theyre like silent rubber sex dolls. Theyre always good to eat. But never good to keep. I know one that doenst even know the true meaning of “sensitivity”.
They are however owners of the world’s PhDs in “emotional infidelity".
+ Intimacy is not wot id like to discuss at 19. some may argue im trying to hard to be carrie bradshaw. Or even sam jones. theyre wot? way past their 30’s.
Say wot u like.
Either way, all they’ve wanted to do was jump my bones is the most pornographic way you can imagine.
Intimacy?
“Wots that hunny? Now put on that nurse outfit w a thong and suspenders and come to bed”.
Yea. That.
Hence my uncanny ability to equate sex to love.
Love that Ive yearned since my parents divorce.
And you know wot?
my psychiatrist has asked me to remain CELIBATE for 6 months.
6 months you know. No franking joke.
And she means both men and women.
Aiseh.
I feel like swearing now.
