wot dyu want to be wen you grow up?
im was just wondering.
if it is even remotely possible to swop lives w someone else.
cos ive been suffering from a growing affinity towards schizopherinia (its that how you spell it)
yea well. maybe thats a little over-exxagerating.
but i cannot help but pass my days w a little day-dream of someday (soon) leading the high-life of maybe a fashion editor, fine artist, event manager, maybe and remotely even an economist. oh god forbid.
intellectualism is wot spurs my gist for life.
just the same way watching a good film, devouring a good book, working on an art piece, remininiscing or exploring a different culture, or even revelling in current affairs does.
pls dont get me wrong. i am a highly drama rama raja that expects to rule the world on a pedestal w perhaps, christian troy at her beck and call. did any one hear carnal appetite?
oh sorry
back to wot i was saying.
i love life. i do. maybe i hate a love-hate relationship w it from time to time. cos ppl in it have the ultimate potential to spoil it for me. they really do. do. do!!!!
hence this i must say w ardent fervour.
"no one shall and will rule my emotions, my habits, my state of mind and therefore my destiny and eventually my life"
looks like im sounding like a contradicting character.
ok. i can say i love life. but maybe not mine. at least for the moment.
hence the need to maybe swop lives for awhile.
anyone willing?
stella mcartney maybe? how bout roberto cavalli.
id really love to see the world andy warhol did. to the point i wouldnt mind dabbling in homosexuality.
and i really wouldnt mind being ann krueger for a while and having a stint w the IMF.
i cant help but sound the least bit 6 year oldish when i say
"wot the fuck am i gonna be when i grow up?"
im not proud to say that i havent been stuck in such a dubious state of mind in my entire life and frankly im getting quite scared.
oh yea. and at the risk of soundind maybe a little shallow headed. (but i am at times)
"God! will you pls give me a flat chest? higher nose? a flawless complexion? maybe more chiseled cheekbones?
how about adding 5 inches to my legs in exchange for those off my waist?"
maybe then. and i say this w as much conviction as my expression can muster.
il be happy?
or not.
cos when i come to think of it, there are abt a million and one other things id demand.
money, fame, talent,
and lord pls "a brain that can separate emotion from hard logic".
so as i begin to build up on my never ending wishlist i also start to wonder wot the fuck life really is all abt.
and wot the fuck my life’s purpose is.
have you ever sat down and pondered upon it?
how then are you so sure you are leading the life you were meant to lead. and that you have in fact derived maximal satisfaction from it?
these series of questions have left me seriously more perplexed than i was when i was shitting hysterics over my linear algebra exam. which. i infact passed. w flying colours.
too bad i failed 2 papers. and too bad i left warwick and ended something i was supposed to do.
nobody’s perfect. anyone can tell you that.
but i really cant help but wonder am i or am i not harnessing my abilities to its full capacity?
am i or am i not compensating in all that i can to cover my weaknesses.
all i can say is that watching mtv wotever thing’s the "AIYA- CREW" all day is not helping the situation one fucking bit.
but i love them buggers!!! theyre so fucking funny!!!! ha. ha. ha. there.
