digress & obsess [v2]

wah.  its 5 o clock in the damn morning i cant sleep pulak.  melatonin dun work you know,
im smokin up the whole room and now im pretty sure that my lungs are blacker than davids skin. heheheh. kidding.
woah.

i feel damn damn damn displaced.

metaphorically speaking:
Its like someone put me here and said, " nah, your life, go go..go face it yourself all by yourself.  no one will talk to you and no one will tell you iif you are right or wrong.  but be careful dun fall into a hole and cannot crawl out.  cos no one will help you crawl out.  that would be called in lame-men terms, "a mistake"

oh and there are many Mahais/Assholes along the way. they spout crap and lead you astray.  they do things to convince you youre special.  but then wen u  kena Bang-Bang, dun cry !"

ok.  fine.  fair enough.  il just stop and stay where i am in my happy spot and dun la move.  until someone comes along and pushes me off.

but….. there wasnt a q&a and someone did eventually push me and i fell into a hole and am still trying to climb out. like the lady from the ring. 

There wasnt a francing Q&A like whyccome "ma damn legs dun fit ma body",
"why i look like im gonna fall over".
and why la, i always fall over into the same damn hole and meet the same damn Assholes over and over again.
then i think kena"lucky-strike" pulak.
ma hai.

in fact, i seemed so perpelexed over the harsh truth that i was never going to rid my body of the dumbblonded-ness i went on a calling spree.   called david.  i called sher.  i called dad.  i called em. i called tse yeng for advice. the best adice i got?

yoyoma & diva chao told me: dunt got "tap some bong", but take sum valium instead and  go "nap-nap".
work on ma portfolio shitfolio,
and stop lowering ma standards !

my reward, i get to dance around in mukluks when they buy me a new missoni dress. =] =] =] =] =] jeng jeng jeng

ive got nothing but some some spare change in ma pocks, enough to get me some ciggies.
seeing forth my money has been spent so damn wisely on shopping for cosmetics to save my sorry face and bed head hair products  to save my hair. but despite this mask that mask, this fuck, that ….my black roots are showing
and i cant get james blunt outta my head
i wanna just pack up, shave my head bald and go on a yoga trip to a beach far far far away w d. la merdien bora bora, tahiti to be exact.
i wanna tan and tan and tan till we be blacker than kelings.  i wanna just lie on the beach forever, sip malibu, like i do in club 17 or down pina colada’s till we throw up.  i wanna fall asleep heairng the waves and wke up hearing the same waves and watch mr d drown in those waves and laugh and laugh.  where ma joints on the beach. sigh. times like these call foor despo measures.  i wanna go skiny dipping and run around the beach in nothing but a poko pano/salinas bikini bottom and a fedora hat.

now the only kinda colours i see are smudged marks on the table, walls and keyboard of my computer.   yea.  ive been working at it all day and its comin on really nicely just htat…..i need a break and some sun sun sun.

and i miss Mr. d like a fat kid wants oreo cheesecake why arr? cos he smells "damn chun", we can drink moet&chandon and live on nothing but ding-dongs and twinkies.

most of all. yea. most of all…"his smile lasts forever". you know the kind. it brightens up ur day and lights your night.  the kind that makes you wanna mlt right into your pina colada drink or the kind that makes you feel beautiful.  and grab and and muah him nonstop.
ya well.
cannot.
im busy now.  and feeling damn displaced

yoyo reckons the reason im falling into teh same hole all the time is cos i dont love maself.

damn right ya’ll

This entry was posted on Saturday, October 15th, 2005 at 8:34 pm and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.